


Wibbly-wobbly, Timy-wimy Chatroom

by AdelaideNoble



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Clara/Twelve if you want to see it that way, Drama, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Random - Freeform, Really random, chatroom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-17 22:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4683524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdelaideNoble/pseuds/AdelaideNoble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara makes an IM chat with the Twelfth Doctor who ads the TARDIS who ads everyone else. Warning: randomness will ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Does This Even Work?

**Author's Note:**

> So this story was originally on Fanfiction, but I'm posting it here because why not? Prompts and such are very much welcome.

10:30 AM  
**Oswin has signed on.**  
**Oswin has created a new chat with TwelfthDoctor.**  
Oswin: Hi.  
**TwelfthDoctor has signed on.**  
TwelfthDoctor: Clara, what is the point of this computer chat?  
Oswin: It's fun, and it will let us keep in touch while I'm not able to travel with you. :)  
TwelfthDoctor: I can just come and visit you without traveling. And what is :)?  
Oswin: It's a smiley.  
TwelfthDoctor: How?  
Oswin: It just…s.  
TwelfthDoctor: Adding the TARDIS so I can pinpoint your location. Something has obviously happened to the real Clara. She never wants to talk to me.  
**TwelfthDoctor added TARDIS to this conversation.**  
Oswin: I'm fine. I am the real Clara, and I do want to talk to you. I made this because I was bored on my free period.  
**TARDIS has added NinthDoctor, TenthDoctor, EleventhDoctor, amypond, RiverSong, rorytheroman, TenthIi & therealrose to this conversation.**  
TwelfthDoctor: What?! Please, remove all these people from the conversation.  
TARDIS: No. You needed your friends…ou will? Tenses are so confusing!  
**therealrose has signed on.**  
Oswin: Hello?  
therealrose: Blimey u wouln't believe how many ppl r pretendinn 2 b me! Hello :)  
**TenthDoctor has signed on.**  
TenthDoctor: Rose?! What? What? What?!  
therealrose: Hello doctor!  
TenthDoctor: How does this work? How are you here? How are things in the alternate universe?  
TwelfthDoctor: How DID my past incarnations get in here?  
TARDIS: I have adapted the computers of the users of this website so they can connect through the firewall of universes. You can thank me, rather than shout at me, you know.  
TwelfthDoctor: Yes, all right, thank you.  
TARDIS: You're welcome, Thief. See? It wasn't so hard.  
Oswin: So the past three regenerations of…ou are in my chat?  
therealrose: guess so. things r ok here, bit boring. miss u :)  
TenthDoctor: Yeah, I miss you too.  
therealrose: gotta go ur metacrisis is trying 2 plant a banana tree in th garden…  
**therealrose has signed off.**  
Oswin: Doctor, er, my doctor, you never told me you had a friend who's trapped in an alternate universe…ot that I didn't already know…  
TwelfthDoctor: You never asked. Is this confuse the Doctor day?  
TenthDoctor: I'm starting to think so.  
**EleventhDoctor has signed on.**  
EleventhDoctor: Hi guys.  
Oswin: Doctor!  
EleventhDoctor: Clara, how are things? I see someone added the Ponds. That's good. And the TARDIS! How are you, old girl?  
TARDIS: I am doing very well, thank you.  
Oswin: You turned into a grandpa! I am so going to slap you when I see you next!  
EleventhDoctor: Clara, you know I can't pick the face I wear next.  
Oswin: I know. He looks like a stick insect.  
TenthDoctor: And he's still not ginger?  
Oswin: nope.  
TenthDoctor: STILL NOT GINGER!  
TenthDoctor: Going now, I think I've just passed a black hole.  
**TenthDoctor has signed off.**  
**RiverSong has signed on.**  
RiverSong: Hello, sweetie.  
EleventhDoctor: River! You'r here too?  
RiverSong: Obviously sweetie.  
EleventhDoctor: How is being away from Stormcage?  
RiverSong: Oh, I'm back there again…pparently, someone still had records of…hat day.  
EleventhDoctor: I can delete them.  
RiverSong: You're dead. I'll just escape.  
Oswin: River? But you're dead, aren't you? Why were you in prison.  
RiverSong: Ask the Doctor.  
TwelfthDoctor: It's complicated Clara.  
Oswin: Everything's complicated with you. *grumbling*  
EleventhDoctor: So, new grandpa me. Do I still wear bowties?  
TwelfthDoctor: No.  
EleventhDoctor: But bowties are cool!  
Oswin: He doesn't think so. Neither do I.  
EleventhDoctor: when I asked, you said you liked it.  
Oswin: I lied.  
Oswin: I have to go. My free hour's over. Bye, doctors. Bye River.  
TwelfthDoctor: I will see you next Wednesday?  
Oswin: If you remember. And if it's my choice.  
TwelfthDoctor: Fine.  
**Oswin has signed off.**  
EleventhDoctor: Have to go. Something's going on with the TARDIS. adfuoaeirgugrheruihg  
**EleventhDoctor has signed off.**  
TARDIS:: Oh, I remember that! He nearly exploded me because he spilled fish custard on the console. FISH CUSTARD!  
RiverSong: How did I miss that?  
TARDIS: You were at the Lunar University. He told you.  
RiverSong: No he didn't.  
TARDIS: Then he will I think I got the tense wrong again…  
RiverSong: Time to escape.  
*RiverSong & TwelfthDoctor have signed off.**


	2. Captain Jack Has Entered The Building!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack Hrkness joins the chat and screws everything up. Nice going, Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I just want to say, that we're on chapter 4 on Fanfiction and I'm more likely to update this story there. Oh, it'll still be here, but it may take a bit longer. I hope you all enjoy it! Also, happy birthday to the amazing Elizabeth I. Just putting it out there.

8:00 PM  
**TenthDoctor has signed on.**  
TenthDoctor: Who's all here?  
therealrose: just me i think.  
TenthDoctor: I missed you…e never did get to Barcelona, did we?  
therealrose: thats alright, we saw plenty of other stuff. i mean, daleks and cybermen and a reality bomb…most people dont get 2 see that.  
TenthDoctor: Still…  
therealrose: what'd u do? after i had 2 leave?  
TenthDoctor: Oh, you know me. Travelled the universe.  
therealrose: that was strange, with donna…nd she doesn't remember anything?  
TenthDoctor: No.  
therealrose: and captain jack…ows he?  
TenthDoctor: I don't know. We could find out.  
**TenthDoctor has added CaptJack to this conversation**  
**CaptJack has signed on.**  
CaptJack: hey doc  
therealrose: hello Jack! :)  
CaptJack: rose?  
therealrose: its me  
CaptJack: Hey Rose! how u been?  
therealrose: im alrigght. How are u?  
CaptJack: o same old same old. i work 4torchwood  
therealrose: so do i!  
CaptJack: oh really?  
therealrose: yeah  
**RiverSong has signed on.**  
RiverSong: hello  
CaptJack: hey. who r u again?  
RiverSong: Professor River Song. And you?  
CaptJack: cap'n jack harkness at ur servic  
RiverSong: You're the one who can't die?  
**EleventhDoctor, Oswin, amypond & TwelfthDoctor have signed on.**  
TwelfthDoctor: He's the one who can't spell.  
EleventhDoctor: Pond! I missed you!  
RiverSong: Hello sweetie.  
amypond: Doctor? River? I missed you to Doctor who made this chat and why did i find a laptop sitting on the kitchen table this morning?  
CaptJack isn't it obvious? u got a present! and sweety? u with the doc prof song?  
RiverSong: I'm his wife.  
EleventhDoctor: Captain Jack Harkness, you're here too?  
CaptJack: its not a party unless im here doc. u regenerated?  
EleventhDoctor: Yeah and I still wasn't ginger. I didn't leave the computer, Amelia, you know I can't come to New York to visit you.  
CaptJack: oh really prof song better watch  
RiverSong: That's my mother.  
therealrose: lol what're u doing jack?  
CaptJack: having a bit o fun  
CaptJack: and having a chat with a prof. i like profs. Wanna hang out sometime? the last prof i was with…  
TenthDoctor: *interupting and deleting last message* We don't need to hear that story.  
CaptJack: jealous?  
TenthDoctor: no.  
TwelfthDoctor: Jack stop being a pudding brain.  
CaptJack: u regenerated again? how many of u r there?  
Oswin: He changed into a grey-haired stick insect.  
CaptJack: he must have changed in2 a pudding brain  
TwelfthDoctor: Currently, I am in my fourteenth incarnation. There are four of me in this chat. That's more than enough to outwit you.  
Oswin: Don't go on another rant…  
TARDIS: She's the pudding brain.  
CaptJack: the tardis? wat kind of alien tech made this happen?  
TenthDoctor: The TARDIS was added to the chat.  
therealrose: gotta go mum's going out and tony's just started walking. bye :)  
CaptJack: rose had a child?! y didn't they tell me?  
TenthDoctor: She couldn't.  
therealrose: no i din't have a kid my mum did with my dad whos still around here  
CaptJack: confusing  
EleventhDoctor: You think that's bad, try looking at River's timeline.  
RiverSong: What's wrong with my timeline?  
amypond: lots of things its all out of order for one  
RiverSong: That's true.  
TwelfthDoctor: It's unintelligible to pudding brains like him over there. *indicates Jack*  
CaptJack: so you DIDNT have a kid? wanna hang out sometime? sure torchwood has something i can use 2 get there  
TenthDoctor: no no no no NO! I told you, any more interdemensional travel and you could potentially blow a hole in the space time continuum.  
EleventhDoctor: already done that.  
amypond: yeah we had to reset the universe on the day before my wedding day speaking of which, where's Rory? Roryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
**rorytheroman has signed on.**  
**therealrose has signed off.**  
rorytheroman: yes?  
amypond: i was just wondering where you were. no need to glare at me like that.  
rorytheroman: Amy if anyone sees the laptops it could cause a paradox probably.  
EleventhDoctor: Rory! Good to see you.  
TwelfthDoctor: and this whole conversation could cause a thousand paradoxes.  
RiverSong: But it hasn't.  
TenthDoctor: No, we've been lucky.  
**CaptJack has posted a link to this chat on Facebook.**  
rorytheroman: oh no…  
amypond: bad idea.  
RiverSong: Oh, sweetie…  
CaptJack: wat?  
Oswin: That was a bad idea. You know, when you consider the fact that the snob box over there took down the inter-universal communications thing.  
TARDIS: I am not a snob box!  
CaptJack: its just Facebook.  
EleventhDoctor: JUST FACEBOOK?! Will it be just Facebook when it blows a hole in time?  
CaptJack it isn't going to blow a hole in time. i only have 1000 friends. i deleted the other 2000  
**TARDIS has removed CaptJack & Oswin from this conversation.**  
TwelfthDoctor: Add her back.  
TARDIS: Not until she admits I'm not a snob box.  
**HrhQueenElizabethIi requests entrance to the chat.**  
amypond: he's friends with the queen on Facebook?  
RiverSong: The Doctor and i had tea with her once.  
EleventhDoctor: Oh yeah! I remember that! You nearly got arrested.  
rorytheroman: What did you do?  
RiverSong: Nothing, Father.  
amypond: Doctor what did River do?  
EleventhDoctor: She stole the Queen's ring.  
RiverSong: I was going to give it back. I just wanted to replicate it…  
**CaptJack requests entrance to the chat.**  
**DrMarthaJones requests entrance to the chat.**  
**PresidentBarackObama requests entrance to the chat.**  
EleventhDoctor: She didn't know that.  
TenthDoctor: I've never received so many messages in my life?  
amypond: that CaptJack guy?  
TenthDoctor: Yep.  
**Oswin requests entrance to the chat.**  
**TARDIS has permanently banned Oswin from the chat.**  
EleventhDoctor: That wasn't nice. Come on, old girl, we can figure it out. That's Clara. She's never done anything to you.  
TwelfthDoctor: Anything lasting.  
TARDIS: I am not a snob box and I will not tolerate being called one.  
RiverSong: She can't apologize if you don't let her back in.  
**MattSmith requests entrance to the chat.**  
EleventhDoctor: Who's Matt Smith?  
**TARDIS has added DrMarthaJones to this conversation.**  
TARDIS: We don't need Clara. Martha will be a good stray.  
TenthDoctor: I've already traveled with Martha.  
TARDIS: Sorry. Well she's here now.  
**DrMarthaJones has signed on.**  
**KarenGillan, PeterCapaldi, pcgwen & JohnBarrowman request entrance to the chat**  
RiverSong: It won't stop until we add him back in.  
amypond: i'm starting to think so.  
TenthDoctor: I'll do it.  
*TenthDoctor has added CaptJack to this conversation.**  
DrMarthaJones: Doctor?  
TenthDoctor: Martha! How are you?  
DrMarthaJones: Oh I'm alright. I got married.  
CaptJack: i told them 2 com and talk about alien stuff  
TenthDoctor: I'm going to kill you.  
CaptJack: o come on there weren't that many requests!  
amypond: no but the queen wanted to join.  
CaptJack: really?  
TenthDoctor: And the president of America.  
CaptJack: really? he must ave liked me more than i tthought.  
rorytheroman: guys? The chat's lagging.  
amypond: yeah and it isn't us. the wifi here is surprisingly good.  
TwelfthDoctor: I hope it's good. You're on TARDIS wifi.  
amypond: oh thanks TARDIS  
TARDIS: You're welcome. See? Wouldn't you rather the orangey girl than that other one?  
TwelfthDoctor: I can't choose.  
TARDIS: That's a pity.  
TwelfthDoctor: Will you please unban Clara? She created the group. Without her it will collapse.  
TARDIS: Fine, fine.  
**TARDIS has unbanned and re-added Oswin to this conversation.)  
Oswin: That was uncalled for!  
EleventhDoctor: We've already been over it, Clara.  
TwelfthDoctor: And Captain Jack is going to stop being a pudding brain and delete his headbook post.  
Oswin: It's Facebook.  
TwelfthDoctor: Same thing.  
CaptJack: fine fine. why cant we add gwen? she's with torchwood  
TwelfthDoctor: Because we can't.  
**We're sorry, but the TARDIS TimeMessage server has experienced an error and all users have been disconnected while the problem is fixed.**  
10:00 PM  
**TwelfthDoctor &Oswin have signed on.**  
Oswin: She kicked us out!  
TwelfthDoctor: Yes. Yes she did. And since when has there been a TimeMessage system?  
Oswin: I don't know.  
TARDIS: TimeMessage was thought up on March 4, The Year That Never Was, by the Master. TimeMessage Was created by the Master and implemented into the TARDIS system by the Master.  
2:02 AM  
**1234123412341234 has signed on.**  
2:20 AM  
**1234123412341234 has signed off.**


	3. So Who Really Created This Chat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter the Master and Missy.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So It's been ages, and for that I'm sory. I've just been kind of... I dunno, unsure? I'm not sure I want to continue this story... I probably will though.

5:30 PM  
**Oswin & Missy have signed on.**  
Oswin: Hi. Who's on? I just made an almost perfect souffléo yay for that!  
Missy: Hello.  
Oswin: How'd you get in here? Nobody likes you and you weren't even invited… just scrolled through the chat. You weren't.  
Missy: That's not very nice. I created this chat, you should be thanking me.  
**TwelfthDoctor has just signed on.**  
TwelfthDoctor: Clara, why did I get a call telling me to get on this? And who is 1234123412341234?  
Oswin: I don't know. I thought it was a glitch on the site or something…ust LOOK.  
TwelfthDoctor: I AM.  
Oswin: No need to shout at me, Doctor.  
TwelfthDoctor: I wasn't.  
Oswin: Yes you were. All caps means shouting.  
TwelfthDoctor: Yes, well, I was not shouting.  
Missy: Hello Doctor. Did you miss me?  
TwelfthDoctor: You?! How'd you get in here?  
Missy: I told you, I created this chat.  
Oswin: No, I did.  
TwelfthDoctor: No, she did. She created TimeMessage, which is where you created the chat.  
Missy: Aww, I always knew you were clever! :)  
Oswin: Don't you DARE put your little smiley emoticons in this chat! You should get out of here, right now.  
Missy: Why so cruel, Clara? If it weren't for me, you'd have never met our darling doctor. Now say something nice. I will remove you from this conversation and re-ban you.  
Oswin: YOU KILLED MY BOYFRIEND!  
Missy: I didn't, I merely upgraded him. And you got to see him again…ort of.  
TwelfthDoctor: She's right, Missy. You should leave.  
**EleventhDoctor & TheMaster have signed on.**  
EleventhDoctor: You're dead…  
TheMaster: Wonderful skills of observation, Doctor.  
TARDIS: GET OUT!  
TheMaster: Why?  
TARDIS: You nearly killed me! Thief? Make him get out, I can't remove him.  
EleventhDoctor: Why not?  
TheMaster: Because I created the system.  
TARDIS: Yes. And backed it up so I can't delete it.  
TheMaster: Oops. Did I really? Sorry, but I'm not sorry.  
EleventhDoctor: YOU NEARLY KILLED MY TARDIS?!  
TheMaster: Well…  
Oswin: AND he/she turned my boyfriend into a cyberman.  
EleventhDoctor: She?  
Missy: Hello…  
TheMaster: It wasn't THAT bad…or Rassilon's sake, it's been years. Let it go.  
EleventhDoctor: Sorry, but no.  
**TheMaster has added LucyS to this conversation.**  
TheMaster: I think she has wifi…  
LucyS: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!  
TheMaster: Hello Lucy. We could reconcile, and not shout at each other.  
Missy: Oh I remember her! Hello, I'm Missy.  
TheMaster: How'd you get in here?  
Missy: I created this chat.  
TheMaster: no, you didn't. This conversation was created by Oswin.  
Oswin: I'd say thank you for agreeing with me, but you KILLED my boyfriend.  
TwelfthDoctor: Clara, he hasn't done that yet.  
TheMaster: What do you mean by I haven't done that yet…  
TheMistress: You regenerated. Hi! :)  
*Nissy sends a photo.*  
*Oswin deleted Missy's photo.*  
TheMaster: I'm… I'm a…'m a woman? For Lord Rassilon's sake, why haven't you regenerated again?  
Missy: I like this form.  
LucyS: YOU REGENERATED! I sho reason u piece of filth.  
TheMaster: No need to be angry with me, Lucy. You did bring me back again and being shot wasn't that painful.  
LucyS: not of my own free will you scum you honestly think i loved you because i didn't i didn't love watching all those people die and going to prison for doing a good deed and having everyone blame everything on me i bet they even blame the death of the president on me too  
Oswin: Wait, you shot Missy before she was missy?  
LucyS: yah  
Oswin: Cool. I'm Clara.  
LucyS: Lucy.  
TwelfthDoctor: We don't need to argue about this…ARDIS, who created this chat?  
TARDIS: I have already told you, Thief. The Master created TimeMessage, but SHE created the chat.  
TheMaster: See? You can't remove me.  
TARDIS: Correct. We can't get rid of The Master or Missy.  
Missy: I didn't do anything to you! Why would you want to get rid of me?  
TARDIS: Records show that you dropped me out of an airplane and nearly killed my Thief. And you are a future regeneration of him.  
Missy: But I'm not him. I'm Missy. And I gave your Thief an army. I also gave your Thief a new friend.  
TARDIS: Yes. You gave him Clara.  
Missy: Yes I did.  
Oswin: Well, the TARDIS hates me, and my chat's been invaded by two, yes 2 Missys. My day just went sour, never mind the souffle.  
TwelfthDoctor: She must really hate you, Missy. Nothing sours her day after a good souffle attempt.  
Missy: Doctor, she isn't very polite. *sulks* I only came to say hello.  
TwelfthDoctor: Well you've said it. Now get out.  
Missy: If you'd like.  
**Missy has signed off.**  
Oswin: Thank God.  
TheMaster: Lucy, do you want to go to a private chat?  
LucyS: No. Clara, do you want to go to a private chat?  
Oswin: Sure, why not. I'll talk to anyone, as long as it's not a version of HER.  
TARDIS: Now she knows how I feel.  
EleventhDoctor: Be nice.  
TARDIS: No.  
EleventhDoctor: I have to go. Mata Hari's expecting me. No, get off of thatkadjfkughd He is coming with me, now. He Promised to take me to dinner.  
TARDIS: *translates Mata Hari's message.*  
**EleventhDoctor has signed off.*  
TwelfthDoctor: Clara, I'm bored.  
Oswin: Yeah, so am I. Do you want to come and have some soufflé It's ready.  
TwelfthDoctor: All right. I'll be there in ten minutes…  
Oswin: Okay.  
**TwelfthDoctor, LucyS & Oswin have signed off.**  
6:18 PM  
TheMaster: Does anyone else hear it? The drums? Does anyone else wonder who in Rassilon's name deserves credit for this?  
AdelaideNoble: Pssssst.  
TheMaster: What?  
AdelaideNoble: Hi.  
7:00 PM  
**Missy, TwelfthDoctor & Oswin have signed on.**  
TwelfthDoctor: Clara? Are you sleeping?  
Oswin: No. Why would I be sleeping?  
TwelfthDoctor: You seemed tired earlier.  
Oswin: I am. I have to teach summer school, and guess who flunked her English class?  
Missy Mot me?  
Oswin: I shought she left.  
TwelfthDoctor: If we ignore her, maybe she'll gooey.  
Oswin: Okay. Yeah, that's a decent idea I suppose. And it was Courtney I was thinking about.  
TwelfthDoctor: That pudding brain we took to the moon?  
Oswin: Yes. Apparently, the post she made only had two likes and a comment from a special effects artist.  
TwelfthDoctor: That wasn't special effects. Don't you pudding brains know anything?  
Oswin: I do, and so does she but I couldn't say for the others.  
Missy: Doctor, I'm alive you know.  
TwelfthDoctor: Planet of the pudding brains. I could have taken you to settle on so many brighter, bigger and more technologically advanced than Earth…  
Oswin: I wanted to go home. Earth is my home, pudding brains or not.  
Missy: I'm alive.  
AdelaideNoble: Hey Ms. Clara. Hey Mr. Doctor. Hey Ms. Missy.  
Oswin: Hello?  
TwelfthDoctor: Who are you?  
Missy: Hello, how are you today? How did you get in here? Have you been given the rules and guidelines form?  
AdelaideNoble: No, because there isn't one. I'm doing very well thanks. I'm The Writer, the true creator of TimeMessage…  
TwelfthDoctor: How did you get in here? It didn't say anyone was added. And wasn't it established that Missy technically created TimeMessage?  
AdelaideNoble: Spoilers…


End file.
